In 2017, when Robert Winters was single, he used artificial intelligence to find more matches on Tinder. He downloaded AI software that automatically swiped through profiles and started conversations for him, leading to hundreds of potential customers. Shortly after, Tinder banned him.
“There were maybe a dozen matches before the AI-Tinder hack I implemented [over] “A few days,” he said. “The difference is night and day.”
This program is much more knowledgeable than the AI tools most people would use to find a date. Still, the 39-year-old Belgian digital design strategist says even simple AI aids can optimize online dating.
Last year, Winters began using artificial intelligence to create photos of herself for her dating profile.
During the same period, a number of new AI-powered dating tools emerged. They can help improve users’ dating profiles, assist with messaging, and even go on “first dates” for people. But their release also sparked a debate about the ethics of their use.
“The question remains: To what extent should we allow people to use AI to represent themselves?” said Liesel Sharabi, dating app researcher and Arizona State University associate professor.
“When is this tricky and when is it helpful?”
Dating profile development
Among other features, numerous websites and phone apps say it can help people make a better-curated first impression on dating apps. Such artificial intelligence services will provide:
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Write your biography
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Write your quick answers
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Identify your best photos
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Create your AI-generated visuals
Dmitri Mirakyan is the co-founder of YourMove AI, a website and app that offers an artificial intelligence dating profile creator and reviewer, among other services. He says his company has written more than 500,000 profiles and his website gets about 200,000 visitors each month.
WATCH | Is it wrong to use artificial intelligence for dating?:
He estimated that about a third of users were young men.
He says some people use his services because they’re introverts or older and unfamiliar with dating apps.
“We’re helping these people get off their feet and dive into online dating because it’s hard to market yourself,” Mirakyan said.
Kathryn Coduto, an online dating researcher and assistant professor at Boston University, said these tools can be helpful, but they can also make people seem less authentic.
“When AI is used to create a profile, it doesn’t really look like you anymore. It feels like a computer trying to figure out who you are.”
His research found that many people are hesitant to trust AI, even if it has benefits.
Pickup lines
Some apps offer users a rolodex of AI-generated openers. One of those featured in a TikTok ad says: “I don’t know how to put this. I usually go for sevens, but I think I’ll settle for 10.”
Users can often request a specific tone, from sweet to spicy. But whatever their style, developers say their programs help users take that important first step while also boosting users’ confidence by educating them on ways to improve their communication skills.
Coduto said that unlike using AI for profile enhancements, AI-generated pickup lines reflect a long-established practice because many people rely on friends for help with openings.
“Is AI really any different from friends when it comes to keynotes?”
“Both guys and girls need help opening dating apps. It’s an artificial environment that’s not the same as in real life,” said Roman Khaves, co-founder of AI dating assistant Rizz. “Opening is quite frustrating for many users.”‘
Khaves said his app has had 3.5 million users since its launch last spring.
Men are often under a lot more pressure because “they’re still expected to send the first message or give a really great opening statement,” Coduto said.
Sometimes greetings can sound artificial or silly, but that doesn’t mean people can’t change them.
“I think there’s an argument that you can learn from AI, especially when we think about things like pickup lines.”
Messaging assistant
Apps like Rizz and YourMove AI also allow users to upload screenshots of their online conversations to an AI browser that suggests how to respond.
Dating apps like Bumble already include prompts to help people chat more easily.
Jevan Huston, an AI and dating app researcher and associate at Hintze Law, said such messaging assistants could play a key role in enabling people to meet in person, which is often a key goal for online dating.
Assistive technology can eliminate people’s anxiety and “allow them to interact when they might not otherwise be able to.”
These messaging assistance apps are often subscription-based, and many online say the costs are prohibitive. For example, Rizz offers a three-day free trial, but a one-week subscription costs $9.99, while an annual subscription costs $99.99.
No matter what, let’s say a user finally gets the date they were hoping for. Some may still find themselves under Article 22.
“AI is not going to help you have a real-life conversation,” Coduto said.
“If you’re just communicating through AI or actually getting help from AI, I think it could definitely be a form of catfishing.”
Huston, who advocates for such services, said people often present themselves differently online, whether on social media or dating apps.
Another topic of discussion is disclosure. Users will need to decide whether, how and when it is necessary to mention a date regarding the use of artificial intelligence during the conversation.
“It’s really important to start with an honest footing,” Coduto said.
Mirakyan said people using the chat assistant should “be as transparent as people with prosthetic legs need to be transparent about using a prosthetic leg to walk.”
“I don’t think anyone has to explain that they are an introvert or that they drink beer to overcome the fact that they are an introvert and want to be more social.”
Another thing to consider is that the uploaded screenshots capture a two-way conversation; therefore, the other person may not be aware that their conversations are being recorded, shared, and possibly stored by a third party.
Mirakyan and Khaves said their technology does not record people’s information, but only extracts and analyzes text from conversations.
Artificial Intelligence goes on dates for you
Some companies are easing people’s dating fatigue by creating AI-simulated blind dates.
Volar Dating, which started operating in the USA at the beginning of this year, is one of such companies. During a short onboarding process, users provide the chatbot with information about themselves (their age, location, hobbies).
The bot then uses artificial intelligence to simulate a first date between two people.
A CBC test found that AI sometimes extrapolates information to create new talking points that may not be true, such as saying an avid reader read a particular book when they haven’t.
Once matched, users can decide if they want to send a message request to actually talk to the other person.
“AI can be used to reduce the amount people swipe on dating apps,” said Arizona State University’s Sharabi. “It’s a little different from the way we interact with dating apps now.”
Give a date to an artificial intelligence
Last year, Replika, one of the leading AI chatbot companion companies, launched Blush, an app dedicated to AI dating.
It works like a dating app, but the people aren’t real; They are AI personalities and each has their own history.
Omri Gillath, a professor of social psychology at the University of Kansas, says that these relationships, which he calls parasocial, are not healthy in the long term.
But in the short term, he says, they can create a safe space for some people to express their connection needs.
“However, as a society we need to ask ourselves: is this the solution?”
Blush says on its website that its app allows people to practice dating in a controlled environment and then apply those lessons in the real world; Gillath is skeptical of this.
He pointed out that Blush and similar programs feature anime and furry characters that people can interact with.
“So is this your practice for the real world, or is this just a way to realize your preferences?”
Similar to other AI dating apps, there still isn’t a lot of hard data on the effects of these products on people’s behavior.
One thing is clear, he said: “The further you move away from face-to-face, face-to-face, human contact, the further away you get from what we evolved to do and be.”
Regardless of what stance people take on intimate relationships with AI, Huston says people need to consider that there is an epidemic of loneliness in many societies.
“If it can help with loneliness and provide partnership, companionship, someone to listen… I think that’s an asset and something that shouldn’t be overlooked.”
Do these apps work?
Coduto said that although success can be measured in different ways, it’s hard to know what that will look like in AI applications because there isn’t a lot of research and most of it isn’t publicly available.
Mirakyan of YourMove AI app says he’s heard success stories from users.
“So many people have told me they found it through their relationships. [using conversation tools]”said.
“I’ll be responsible for at least a few kids at this point.”
Meanwhile, Winters says technology is providing a form of skills training, especially for men, in a world moving away from online and instant face-to-face interactions.
He’s no longer in the dating market. He met his girlfriend in person at an after-work event.
This is part of CBC News Social’s dating series exploring the realities of being single and dating in Canada today.