It’s safe to say that you don’t encounter many life-or-death experiences while camping in the British Isles. In my role at hipcamp.com, the world’s largest booking site for outdoor stays, I chatted with Canadian colleagues storing food in “bear dens” and Australian teammates hosting webinars about spider bites. By the way, when I bring a kilo of margarine on holiday, I rummage through my panties thinking it’s the tub I filled with bolognese.
However, while most British camping mistakes don’t result in death, they can leave you pretty miserable. Some can cause serious shoe damage (forgot the mallet again?), while others could mean leaving the holiday early, especially if the UK’s famously unpredictable weather isn’t on your side. Here are 10 tips to avoid such disasters…
Do: Take Friday afternoon off
There’s a series on Channel 4 Task Manager It’s waiting to be set up at a campsite, and it all starts with setting up a new tent in the dark. If you’re going on a weekend camping trip, avoid starting out hungry, in pitch darkness, with tired kids. Arrive and choose your site before the weekend starts – a not to be underestimated benefit – as well as a more stress-free environment for installation. You will also have time to orient yourself, unpack your things properly, start cooking. Eat your dinner and smugly watch the antics that ensue when the latecomers finally arrive.
Do: ask your host for recommendations
Campground owners are almost always knowledgeable locals; some may have lived or farmed in the area for generations. If rain threatens to play, Tripadvisor will tell you where all the other holidaymakers in the campsite will rush for breakfast; Your host is more likely to know about the lesser-known cafe that doesn’t have a website. Ask them for advice when you check in and tell them your plans for the weekend: they’re well placed to warn you of road closures, over-hyped attractions and difficult parking.
Do: Light a campfire (if you can)
In Australia they call the campfire “bush television”. Rightly. Gazing at the flames is much more fun than the usual Saturday night shows and creates a warm, quiet atmosphere whether you’re snuggling up for two or camping with a large group. There are fewer sites that allow fires in more sensitive areas like national parks, but websites like hipcamp.com have a filter to find those that do. If campfires are allowed, book a fire pit and logs and don’t forget to bring matches and some newspaper.
Do: Play in your tent – especially if it’s raining
The majority of tents consist of two floors; exterior waterproof leather and interior bedroom lining. In rainy weather, avoid dragging mud and moisture into your sleeping area by pulling down the inner layer (look for duffle-coat-style joints) and then turn your tent into an event shelter where you can hide from the wind and rain – tables and chairs will often be included. If the weather looks wet before you hit the road, buy an inexpensive tarp to tie between the trunk of your car and your tent to provide extra space. Use longer wire on one side to create a slope for water to drain.
Do: Secure your man’s ropes
It’s a beautiful day and the tent is all set up. Thoughts inevitably turn to not wearing those extra man strings and having a cup of congratulatory tea instead. Surely this useless nonsense is reserved for arctic explorers and organized people with enough nails? But given Britain’s strange weather conditions, it’s definitely worth doing. In any case, guy ropes are not only designed to keep the tent intact when the wind picks up, they also open the vents, tensioning the tent and encouraging proper airflow. Moisture building up inside the tent is rarely caused by a leak: it’s more likely caused by condensation, so opening vents and mesh panels where possible is, counterintuitively, often the best way to stay warm and dry.
Don’t: trust the camping store
Every person has a natural rate of Packaging Diligence Decline (PDD). You start pouring table salt into an old Tic Tac box. Finally, you throw the baggy clothes into the trunk and cry, “I’m sure it’s already there.” The deeper you dive, the more you tend to assume that the campsite will have a well-stocked store with everything you’ve forgotten. In fact, many campsites don’t have a shop, they just sell a few logs and cartons of eggs at the reception. And if there is a shop, don’t count on having exactly the gas canisters you need for your stove, as they come with a multitude of fittings. Find a packing list online to tick off before you go, and if you need gas, call ahead to check if your campsite has fuel.
Do not: worry about children
The owner of a particularly family-friendly campsite in the Chilterns described to me the panic that ensues when a child wanders off: “On busy weekends I often deal with two or three groups of hysterical parents a day.” “This is standard practice.” She goes about her usual routine of closing the site and searching, only to find the boy happily picking daisies with a group of newfound friends.
Of course, I do not encourage carelessness. But if you’re taking your kids camping, don’t forget to embrace the outdoors and their natural curiosity. Don’t get caught up in rigid bedtime routines, clean hands and perfect diets. Be aware of campsite hazards (especially water) and be careful, but encourage them to enjoy some freedom and time away from devices.
Don’t: expect to lie
I’m not saying you can’t sleep well; cool, clean air is nature’s calming agent. Don’t expect a long, lazy morning in bed. Camping means being in nature, catching up with friends, and breaking up your normal routine (it might be smarter to focus on all of that rather than the fact that the local rooster has foghorn lungs). Some modern tents, such as Coleman’s BlackOut range, have specially designed fabrics so you don’t get up with the sun, and it’s always a good idea to bring appropriate pillows and extra blankets with you to keep from getting cold. Still, it’s hard not to wake up when the rest of the campground wakes up. Enjoy listening to birds you don’t hear at home, relighting the campfire, and enjoying the calm, humid atmosphere of the early morning.
Don’t: Go to the bar every night
It’s always wise to book a site with a good local or at least a chippie nearby. But skip cooking altogether and you’re missing out on one of the great shared pleasures of camping. Often involving gathering around a campfire, the exercise of cooking (and drinking) outdoors is a highly social activity. Many of my fondest memories involve charred sausages, food straight from the pot, and spending time with friends who each provided a little something to eat. You can make this easier by cooking meals ahead of time at home (a handy cooler box acts as freezer blocks while a frozen bolognese, casserole or curry defrosts) and sticking to one-pot meals that require minimal mess.
Do not panic…
It’s easy to overlook the salt, matches, dish soap, tea towels, corkscrew, torches (head torches are best), garbage bags, sharp knife and water containers. But don’t worry too much if you forget something. You can improvise things you can’t borrow from other campers. Forgot the license plates? Use a slice of bread instead. Did you leave your pillow at home? Stuff some clothes into the t-shirt. Have you overlooked camping chairs? Sit on a garbage bag or an upturned bucket. It’s all part of the adventure.