After Juan Ruiz’s two young sons were killed by a drunk driver in 2012, the distraught father and his wife used their grief to fight for tougher DUI laws.
But exactly 12 years later, on September 6, their lives were turned upside down by another unimaginable tragedy: Their little daughter, who was born after they lost their brother, also died.
What is heartbreaking is that the child’s death was caused by a drunk adult in the car, his grieving mother.
“He needs help, he would never do this on purpose,” Ruiz told NBC Los Angeles through tears.
Sandra Hernandez-Cazares, 42, and her three-year-old daughter Ily Ruiz were found unconscious inside a locked Ford Expedition outside their home in Anaheim, California, where temperatures had reached 40 degrees.
It was determined that Ily died at the scene.
“I’m hurt, I’m broken, I’m devastated,” Ruiz said. “I’m angry, I’m furious. That’s what I’m feeling right now.”
Police found the car filled with several bottles of alcohol. Hernandez-Cazares was taken to the hospital with a blood-alcohol level of .30, nearly four times the legal driving limit, prosecutors allege.
The woman was arrested and charged with one count of reckless homicide and one count of child abuse resulting in great bodily injury, according to the Orange County District Attorney.
Ruiz, who says he is a religious man, constantly asks God “why?”
“I don’t know why this is happening now,” he said. “And he’s not responding.”
‘She was my princess’
Prosecutors said Hernandez-Cazares was “extremely intoxicated” when he lost consciousness in his vehicle parked outside his home in the extreme summer heat earlier this month.
Prosecutors said family members began searching for Hernandez-Cazares’ other son, Lazarus, after he was never picked up from kindergarten.
Then they came across a tragic scene. According to the Anaheim Police Department, Ily had been thought dead for several hours when he was found inside his vehicle during California’s scorching heat wave.
When authorities responded to a call from relatives at around 4:20 p.m., they desperately tried to revive the crippled baby, who prosecutors said had died of heatstroke in what they described as “extreme temperatures.”
Ruiz, who was separated from Ily’s mother, was working in a Texas oil field to support his family when he heard the news. He quit his job and rushed back to California.
“She was my princess,” Ruiz said of his only daughter.
Ily, whose name was short for “I Love You,” had a “vibrant personality” and was interested in “everything,” especially Elsa from Frozen, her father recalled.
“I lost two sons to a drunk driver on July 8, 2012,” Ruiz said. “This is the third child I’ve lost, so I’m heartbroken, devastated and angry.”
He said their mother, from whom he separated two years ago, had been struggling with alcoholism and depression since her sons’ death.
“Obviously, she had depression because of the death of our first two sons,” she explained. “I’m pretty sure she had postpartum depression after the birth of my little girl. It was never diagnosed, but the symptoms were all there.”
Ruiz said she repeatedly expressed concern for his mental health, but her concerns were often ignored.
“I tried desperately to tell everyone that he needed help, but no one listened to me. No one took me seriously.”
“She would never do this on purpose,” he said. “She’s not a bad mother at all, she just needs help.”
Tragic loss 12 years ago
Cyris Alexander Ruiz, 9, and Alaries Marcos Ruiz, 5, were killed by a drunk driver while camping with their families in North Dakota.
“We were sleeping in the tent. The drunk driver just hit us. He killed my sons instantly,” their father recalled.
Ruiz himself had to be airlifted from the campsite by helicopter due to lung failure.
“They should have left me there to die too,” Ruiz said. “I wouldn’t want to go through that again.”
Following the children’s tragic deaths, Ruiz and Hernandez-Cazares began pressuring the state legislature to impose harsher penalties for those caught driving under the influence.
They also decided that Lazarus needed a brother, and so Elijah appeared.
“We had a conversation about Lazarus not growing up as an only child,” Ruiz recalls. “And now I only have one child left.”
Meanwhile, Hernandez-Cazares, who is being held in the Orange County Jail on $150,000 bail, faces a maximum of 12 years in prison if convicted on all charges, according to prosecutors.
He made his first court appearance on Sept. 10. His hearing is scheduled for Oct. 1, according to online court information.
“You never get over the unimaginable pain of your five- and nine-year-old sons being killed by a drunk driver,” Orange County District Attorney Todd Spitzer said, adding that the “devastating tragedy” had created “waves of grief.”
“A mother who was robbed of the chance to see her two sons grow up because of a stranger’s selfish decision will have to live with the fact that she will never see her little girl grow up because of the choices she made,” she said.
Ruiz and his family have received an outpouring of support.
A GoFundMe campaign set up to help with Ruiz’s funeral expenses has raised nearly $30,000 to date.
“Ily had such a beautiful and innocent soul, with such a loving and joyful personality,” her cousin wrote in the campaign. “It is still hard to wrap our minds around the thought of Ily no longer being with us. She was taken from our family in such an unimaginably tragic way, and all we want is to ease the burden and pain her father Juan and family are currently experiencing.”
Ruiz said she does not want her children’s mother to be vilified and is urging people to help those struggling with mental health.
“When Sandy was good, she was a good mother,” she said. “I don’t want people to hate her. Leave the hate to me.”
She hopes to use her pain to help others recognize when their loved ones are sick and get them the help they need.
“If you have loved ones or know someone who is suffering, get them the help they need because tragedies happen,” he said. “There are so many consequences and repercussions that can occur because of someone’s actions or inaction.”