One of the biggest and best music festivals in the world, Glastonbury is a party of absolutely massive proportions. Around 200,000 people flock to Worthy Farm, an area approximately the same size as Bristol city centre, and the fun to be had is almost endless.
With over 100 stages to choose from across the entire festival and countless ways to pass the time between bands, being a first-time Glastonbury attendee can understandably feel overwhelming – but fear not, we’ve got your back.
From the surprisingly obvious (remember your tent and, for the love of all that is holy, carry toilet paper wherever you go) to the incredibly niche hacks we’ve learned along the way, these are the tips and tricks to help you make the most of it. most of the festival.
To follow
Did we mention that Glastonbury is absolutely massive? Accordingly, you will definitely get lost along the way and we mostly recommend joining this journey.
Who knows what you’ll encounter along the way? But if you’re in a rush to get somewhere, the Old Railway Line is your best friend, especially later at night when your navigational skills are a little shaky.
The disused train track runs right through the middle of the festival, so when in doubt head here, trust the colorful signs and hop on once you’ve found your way. El Hunt
Beware of long dips
Glastonbury has all kinds of toilets to choose from: men’s urinals, women’s urinals, composting toilets and the rare and hard-to-find luxury portaloo. But the most common is the long drop, which is an open-air cabin with saloon-style doors and a cheerful green paint job.
How to express this sensitively? Once the late night fun kicks in, this version of the toilet gets dystopian and the floor can get a little messy… so you won’t want to leave anything on the floor.
My advice is? There’s not much you can do about it if you’re in the middle of the site, but to be forewarned is to be forearmed. Also use the metal locking latch as a makeshift bag/coat hanger and whatever you do, don’t look down. EH
Carry toilet paper everywhere
Look, trust us on this one. EH
Buy some cheap food
You forgot to get by on bland, greasy burgers: Glastonbury has some of the best festival food and it’s possible to eat like a king. Name a cuisine and there’s a good chance you’ll find it at Worthy Farm. However, three meals a day will add up; so don’t miss out on the festival’s affordable £6 meal deal. The Hare Krishna tent near BBC Presentation offers free vegetarian meals to all visitors, and you can join in some chants and songs while dining in style. The various veg restaurants scattered around the Permaculture areas and Green Fields are also a great opportunity to find cheap food. EH
First night fireworks
Are you waking up early to claim the festival’s best camping spots? Don’t miss the opening ceremonies on Wednesday. As well as a number of weird and wonderful parades (the best of which take place around 4pm in the Healing Grounds) the main attraction has to be Glastonbury’s massive bonfire and fireworks display. Head into the hills, find a spot around Tipi Village, Stone Circle or the big hill behind the parking area and enjoy the incredible views in a small car; Everything starts after dark, around 22:00 in the evening. EH
Skip the heavy bags
Can’t face the thought of lugging a weekend’s worth of supplies through the festival gate? Good news: There’s a Co-op on site that will sell you a variety of supplies (at a huge profit, of course). Put your alcohol in a plastic bottle and bring it from home. When you meet later, stop by the shops for a few mixers; usually found in Coke bottles and Sprite cans. And of course, there are Pot Noodles for those who want to save money on food. Vicky Jessop
Pack your Tiger Balm
The least enjoyable part of the festival is undoubtedly enduring long falls. But when nature calls and queues form at the composting toilets stretching high into the hills, there’s nothing else to do. Keep some Tiger Balm or Vick’s steam lotion in your purse to dab under your nose to keep the worst smells away. Get in, get out and enjoy the rest of your day. It is also useful for healing mysterious bruises. Abha Shah
And your Bluetooth trackers
Wi-Fi is notoriously poor at Worthy Farm, especially when the headliners are over and the networks are clogged with 200,000-odd people texting frantically trying to find their friends. Instead, invest in Bluetooth trackers and place them on your friends; Most have a keychain hole that you can insert and wear as a necklace. They work by using other phones to send location updates to your mobile phone, and most have a range of around 120 metres. Perfect for pinpointing your friends’ location in the middle of a crowded crowd without draining your battery. LIKE
Peace Exodus
You can always retreat to the Garden of Peace when the crowds are too much or you can no longer stand the sun/heat/mud. Located next to Stone Circle, it’s a quiet space with plenty of space to lounge with friends or take a quiet nap between shows. Much better than trying to get back to your turf on an attack route. Besides, you didn’t spend around £300 sitting in your tent, did you? LIKE
Don’t go too early
Increase your pace at least a little. Worthy Farm is big, really big. Walking around stages all day long gets tiring, especially over the course of a whole weekend. Accept that you won’t be able to see absolutely everyone you want and enjoy what you catch. Pacing yourself also applies to partying; It’s probably not worth getting trolled so much on Thursday, having your crippling hangover ruin the next day’s music. It’s also nice to have fun. Robbie Griffiths
Lock up your wines
So you’ve arrived safely at Glastonbury on the rocking trolley, trembling under the weight of seven cans of Savvy B and a case of cider. What will happen now? If you want to feel incredibly smug about your life choices days later when you’re out of booze en route to NYC Downlow, set aside a few hours in advance to tactically distribute your supplies at some of the festival’s 14 property lock-ups.
Open 24 hours a day and manned by volunteers from Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament groups, Birmingham Friends of the Earth and Brighton Peace and Environment Centre, the locks will look after all valuables and are completely free to use (but you can donate). to various charities to thank). Oh, and because they’re such saints, lockdowns are also giving out free toilet paper. EH
And finally…don’t think too much
While it’s of course a good idea to go to Glastonbury fully prepared, with the standout clash finder in hand, there is such a thing as too much preparation.
If you don’t like any of the headliners one night, skip the main stages altogether and go on an adventure: from underground piano bars to super-secret sets inside train carriages to an entire disco hidden inside a portal, there’s boundless ridiculousness at every turn.
A few free hours between groups? Vaguely wander into one of the weirder areas and… see what happens. You’ll soon be chatting about your new favorite hidden gem like a weathered Glastonbury veteran.