There was a double dose of good news for Top Gear fans this week.
First, Richard Hammond claimed that the BBC motor show, which is currently off the air following Freddie Flintoff’s horror crash, is almost certain to return one day.
Amazon’s Prime Video then released the final epic episode of The Grand Tour, starring Hammond and former Top Gear roadies Jeremy Clarkson and James May.
Now, in case anyone was worried that the trio might have finally grown up a bit, I’m pleased to report that their desert-based adventure, which loosely follows the tire tracks of the legendary Paris/Dakar rally, has the subtitle Sand Job. So yes. They’re still a bunch of giggling school kids.
I’m also happy to tell you that it’s up there with the best custom products.
It’s a high-octane visual feast with plenty of jokes and jokes to keep you on your toes throughout its two-hour-and-fifteen-minute runtime. There’s even an A-Team interlude (theme tune and all) that will have amateur engineers and fans of naff ’80s TV shows humming with delight.
Watch the trailer for The Grand Tour: Sand Job
The takeaway from Hammond’s comments is that Top Gear’s current uncertainty and the fact that this is their penultimate outing on Amazon is clear, if slightly fanciful. Well? The BBC must surely swallow its arrogant pride and bring them back home.
At the very least, the network should try to do the public a service by negotiating some sort of deal with Amazon that would allow the Beeb to show The Grand Tour to a wider audience.
After all, the BBC likes repeats. And in terms of ratings, The Grand Tour would certainly do well for BBC1 or BBC2 on a quiet Sunday.
Long term, though, is there any real reason why Clarkson, May and Hammond shouldn’t return and fulfill their BBC destiny: to be the real-life incarnation of the three old blokes in Last Of The Summer Wine?
Let’s face it, if the recent outrages against the likes of Ken Bruce, Sue Barker and poor Steve Wright are anything to go by, the BBC’s obsession with youth is not shared by a significant proportion of paying viewers.
What matters to them is personality and chemistry. Sand Job proves that even at its most exhausting and stunting moments, Clarkson, May and Hammond still have a bag full of bags.
Their tour begins in Mauritania’s outpost of Choum; Here, the trio awaits delivery of their latest souped-up supercar – a Jaguar, a Maserati and an Aston Martin.
You may have seen the spectacular trailer featuring drone footage of one of the world’s longest trains arriving in Choum. Let me tell you, the entire series is even more amazing.
It’ll leave you wondering if Mauritania’s railways have any twists and turns, and that’s just one of the breathtaking camera work captured during the 135-minute Sahara marathon.
But it’s not even close to being the best. I won’t spoil things for you, but there’s a scene towards the end that’s pure Hollywood. All I’ll say is that it involves a gorgeous beach, three incredibly happy older men, and some heavy rock and roll.
This West Africa tour can’t be said to be full of smiles. As the filmmakers initially stated, most of the events take place in the State Department’s red zone, where “Terrorism cannot be ignored.” This is real terrorism. It’s not just terrorists Clarkson and Hammond filling May’s car with sand.
There’s also the heat to deal with. During the day the temperature reaches 50°C and there are moments when you really worry about their health. At least not Clarkson’s. I don’t want to get too personal, but it’s not just Jezza’s car that looks “rear reinforced” on this trip.
He also stubbornly refuses to even wear his sun hat at first.
May is a little more security conscious; he chooses to wear a bandana as if he’s paying homage to Dennis Hopper in Apocalypse Now. As for Hammond, you won’t be surprised to hear that he’ll be the one most likely to not make it home in one piece.
On a particularly hot and sticky evening at camp, a clearly disoriented Clarkson delivers a powerful beat and says: “I’m trying to remember if I’ve ever been this angry.”
No, she wasn’t just shown some online photos of Meghan and Harry living their best lives in Montecito.
He is only disturbed by the poor quality tent given to him. This scant material was almost the final straw, and given Clarkson’s track record in responding to her TV underlings, you have to admire the courage of the production team in not giving her what she wanted.
So is there a happy ending to the tour? I’m not saying. Let’s put it this way, if you’re predicting a riot, you might be in the right place.
The Grand Tour: Sand Job is now streaming on Prime Video.