When I tell her I’m taking my seven-year-old daughter to Disneyland, I usually get two reactions: either sheer horror or confused sighs about what a good parent I am. It may seem off-brand for a fashion editor, but I love Disney. I love the naff kitschness, the nonsensical tones of It’s a Small World, the implication that nothing bad can happen, the pure plain, apple pie weirdness of it all.
The last time I went to Disneyland Paris was the early nineties. We stayed at the Davy Crockett themed hotel, which was actually caravans covered in plastic logs that looked like cabins in the woods. I liked it. One of the most important moments of childhood remains a strange fascination with scream-inducing thrills, sugar highs, and inexplicable excitement over people dressed as cartoon characters.
I was waiting for my daughter to be old enough to remember this and tall enough to go on good trips.
We started our trip by spending a few days in Paris, theoretically going up to the Eiffel Tower and seeing all the sights the City of Lights has to offer. Unfortunately after an accident on our first day we spent most of our time at the children’s hospital where my daughter needed minor surgery on her hand (thankfully she was fine and side note – I can’t recommend the French medical system more highly). If I thought Disney was a terrible idea from now on, I’d be a little hesitant. When I told the hospital nurse that we were going to prepare my daughter for surgery, she looked like she was going to call social services.
But considering we still had the rest of the week before returning home, I wasn’t sure what else to do. His anger towards the hospital aside, taking Disney away could trigger drama of epic proportions. Life is short, I thought. Go to Disneyland!
The journey from central Paris was easy and, excitingly for my daughter, on a double-decker train with Mickey Mouse signs. We arrived at the branded gates looking pretty battered, bruised and in serious need of cheering up.
The weather was terrible. But walking towards the entrance, all mouse-motif landscaping and piped music, was a soporific bliss. As he hummed, I asked him, “How long before you think the music is going to be annoying?” I asked. “What Music?” said. Maybe the anesthesia was still wearing off, I worried.
We headed towards the pink Disneyland Hotel, located in the plum area surrounding the gates of the park. It was a little chaotic inside but I think the spirit is to tend to it all. Under a giant chandelier in the lounge-like reception area, children milled about in flashy Disney merchandise outfits, while a Beauty and the Beast reenactment was performed in one corner. At check-in, we nearly fell into the arms of the reception staff (sorry, actors) who started referring to my daughter as ‘princess’.
We climbed the grand staircase to our room; I made a Titanic joke that he didn’t understand. The hotel has been recently renovated and the room has a layout that has been carefully thought out for ultimate convenience and includes a few dashes of Disney magic.
The double beds in our ‘Superior’ room were framed with Belle artwork, while the bathroom tiles showed Cinderella if you looked closely. A magic drawer opened to reveal glasses, teacups and the like; coffee machines and kettles; the giant mirror was a television; There were elegant benches at the end of our two double beds. Don’t bother packing adapter plugs as they are USB plug-ins. There was a child-sized bathrobe and slippers, which excited my mini-break friend. When there was a knock on the door we were presented with a box of chocolates disguised as a book. Catnip for my daughter, who came with a variety of Minnie Mouse and Disney outfits to wear to the park. We love wearing the piece.
The joy of staying at the Disneyland Hotel is its proximity to the action; There’s even a special gate to avoid too many queues. Personally, I wouldn’t take a child younger than my own, he wouldn’t have gone on as many trips last year, and he would definitely have whined a lot more about his daily step count. There’s the much-vaunted ‘Magic Hour’ where you can get into the parks an hour before everyone else, but we’ve never been able to do it exactly on time.
The hotel has two restaurants as well as the Fleur de Lys bar. Both restaurants sit next to each other. The Royal Banquet offers what it calls a ‘gourmet feast’, which is a very extensive buffet selection. Breakfast includes the usual pancakes, cereal, yogurt, bacon and eggs you can think of. Unsurprisingly for the crowd, the fruit is in very short supply. I was hoping for a range of freshness, but both days we ate here we had a rather sad bowl of mixed fruit salad. This, of course, didn’t bother my daughter at all, who ate as much Nutella as she could stomach from her hot chocolate bucket.
Dinner is the real attraction here; because you will be visited by Mickey and his friends in their matching, fabulous outfits. It’s not just the kids who are dizzy and starstruck. A woman at the next table pulled up her husband’s pants to show off his giant Donald Duck tattoo to, you guessed it, the duck.
The food was again a generous looking buffet, but I was surprised at the lack of obviously child-friendly options. My daughter isn’t that fussy, but she wasn’t ready for rich meat dishes drenched in sauces, and Mickey-shaped potatoes (admittedly delicious) and crudité were largely present in the selection. A pizza and simple pasta station would be a useful addition here. Likewise, although the patisserie desserts were delicious, what he really wanted was some ice cream. For the price of the meal (€50 for kids, €100 for adults) I was expecting a bit more.
Next door, La Table de Lumière is billed as a fancier, more upscale culinary option (it’s also where you’ll mingle with Disney Princesses).
Overall the food at Disney is disappointing and expensive. There are a variety of options throughout the park offering rather uninspiring fast food experiences, all inspired by Disney hits. The best we found was Pizzeria Bella Notte, which took its thematic cue from Lady and the Tramp (which drew me in immediately). The pasta here wasn’t bad (compared to everything else) and they do Mickey-shaped kids’ pizzas, which please her majesty. If you’re staying at one of the themed hotels outside the park, it’s probably worth heading to ‘Disney Village’ for dinner. There’s a lot more choice here than inside the park, and there are high street chains where you can get better fare. But ultimately, bring snacks, keep your expectations pretty low, and prepare to cringe at every bill.
One treat that my daughter really enjoyed was the ‘My Royal Dream’ make-up experience offered to hotel guests. There are various levels of commitment to this piece: Our appointment included a dress and shoes she chose from the Royal Collection boutique (which houses hotel-exclusive items), hair and makeup, as well as a full photo shoot. I imagine she’d be reluctant to do so a year later, but it certainly sealed her princess phase with hilarious flourish. I can’t wait to reveal the pageant style photos of her bonding as Belle at 18.
While the hotel provided a luxurious and extremely comfortable environment (as we fell back on hot chocolate in bed, leaving a fairytale story on our pillows – heaven) the real attraction was of course the tourist attractions.
Our first stop at the park was of course for Minnie ears. Main Street was pretty much as I remembered it; those pastel-coloured, pleasant American storefronts. I would argue that Disney treats and merchandise were better in the Nineties, everything was a bit flimsy and unimaginative and definitely not cheap. Prepare to spend a lot of time fending off temptations to buy endless items sold over and over again at stalls and shops in the two parks (The Magic Kingdom and Walt Disney Studios).
Some dos and don’ts: Definitely download the app. You can see how big the queues are on each ride, and the interactive map is very helpful when you inevitably get lost.
We went during the school holidays and the crowds were impressive; If you want to catch the parades (the fun Disney Symphony of Colors currently showing), then start early to wander around the central area in front of the Sleeping Beauty castle.
If you can, opt for Premier Access; This means that on most rides you can jump at least halfway towards the front. I would call it a lifesaver. This meant that by the end of our first day we had completed most of the excursions we wanted and could spend the rest of our time returning to our favorites.
Catch a show at Walt Disney Studios; They are truly amazing and a great way to sit. However, you still need to get there early to get a seat. We saw the Pixar character dance show and it was amazing.
My daughter is a total thrill seeker, but the Avengers Assemble ride (which will blow your mind) was too much for her. But the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror (where you ‘fall’ into the elevator shaft over and over again) was his absolute favourite. He forced me to do it three times, making me sick to my stomach. I was amazed by the Ratatouille ride which was a delight!
We walked at least 15,000 steps every day; So bring comfortable sneakers and waterproof tracksuits. Rain fell on and off for most of the three days we spent there, which meant we had to buy a plastic poncho for my daughter, although it wasn’t exactly a rain suppressant (a personal red line for me).
In the end, it was exactly what I wanted it to be; she adored it and cried when we had to pack up and hit the road. I found my seven-year-old friend to be the best park buddy, ready for anything, fascinated by all the games and cheered up beyond measure after our rocky start. In addition, I was calmed by the opportunity to release all my pent-up emotions through the winding road of our hospital by screaming into the dark oblivion of as many roller coasters as possible. Forget therapy, give me the Star Wars Hyperspace mountain.
Enjoy an overnight stay at Disneyland Paris from £463 per person, including accommodation at the Disneyland Hotel with access to the Disney Parks for two days and direct return flights with EasyJet. To make a reservation: disneylandparis.com. Terms and conditions: Price is for two adults and two children (aged 3-9) sharing a Superior Room at the Disneyland Hotel and includes direct round-trip economy flights from London Luton to Paris Charles de Gaulle. Price is based on a November 3, 2024 release date. All prices and travel plans are accurate as of June 13, 2024 and are subject to availability and change.