The world revolves around Cleethorpes. No really. While wandering around the Sea Walk I found a plinth with these words on it, marking the spot where the Greenwich Meridian hits the Lincolnshire coast.
When this great east-west dividing line was first established in 1884, Cleethorpes was in a state of splendor. It grew from a modest fishing village into a stylish health resort in the early 19th century. From 1863 the railway brought in more people; The pier opened in 1873.
But today? Walking around it becomes clear that Cleethorpes has lost some of its luster. The beautiful Victorian shell of the Empire Theater was filled with arcades. The statue of Dudley the Donkey looked sad indeed, the vandals had cut off both of his ears. And yet… The town doesn’t feel lost.
Perhaps the pier is the best metaphor: it was originally 365 meters long, nowadays reduced to 102 metres, but continues to thrive despite various troubles: the restored pavilion now houses Papa’s, arguably the world’s largest (and best?) fish and chips restaurant. is hosting. Meanwhile, a pile of Level Up coins are regenerating near the Pier Gardens.
“Money is being spent,” guide Emma Lingard confirmed. “But people still like to spend their money on slot machines, buy a bag of chips, sit in gardens. “I don’t think Cleethorpes has ever lost its appeal.”
What is it really like?
Not bad at all. Cleethorpes lies on the south side of the Humber estuary and its main attraction is the grand old beach. The sand stretches for miles, variously backed by concrete walkways and SSSI-listed salt marshes, but the estuary’s wide tidal range means everything changes in an instant. It can also be dangerous, with deep, nasty mud, winding creeks and a fast-moving North Sea that could leave inconsiderate holidaymakers stranded. Warnings are being made on the coasts. Still makes the look interesting.
Yes, the view. Even on a gloomy day there were brave souls on the benches watching the world go by. They were looking at the abandoned Sand Forts Haile and Bull, built to defend the Humber during the wars, and the ships coming to and fro; The Humber is one of the country’s busiest commercial estuaries. “People stand here, fascinated by the ships,” Emma told me. “You can go into Vesseltracker and see where they are coming from.”
Watching boats, playing mini golf, smelling sea salt and cotton candy; The simple pleasures Cleethorpes offers haven’t changed much in decades. But plans are being made.
The Cleethorpes Master Plan, launched in 2022, aims to create three distinct character areas along the waterfront and hopes to “provide social, recreational and entrepreneurial opportunities for a wide cross-section of the community”. And this spring, plans have moved forward to transform the derelict Pleasure Island theme park (which closed in 2016) into a £65 million holiday resort comprising 272 lodges and two hotels; the project is currently “pending evaluation”.
What’s not to like?
The railway created Cleethorpes. But even in the past, elite visitors avoided the station area. “The north end of town was called the tourers’ end because day-trippers got off the train and stayed there,” Emma said. “They had a reputation for nudity, bad language and drinking, just like they do today.”
It’s a bit of a mess, with a few derelict lots and unsightly storefronts; There used to be a large Dipper and Wonderland fairground here, but those are gone. But as I walked up a shabby lane from the station, I spotted street artist Woskerski putting the finishing touches on a bright, gorgeous mural on the side of the Old Vic pub. this is a part Paint the Town with PrideA project by Grimsby-based Creative Start, which helps people in recovery rebuild their lives through creativity.
Otherwise the town is a mix of slightly faded Victorian and fairly ordinary. On St Peter’s Boulevard, the main shopping street, cafes and butchers juxtaposed with Greggs and the Shoe District. Emma led me down a narrow road to an old sturdy hut (the kind originally built for cars); The parking lot opposite was once full of apartment buildings, but they were demolished after a cholera epidemic in the 1860s. Cholera was not good for the tourism industry.
Do this…
Visit or better yet stay at Humberston Fitties, south of Cleethorpes. This shantytown of disparate huts hidden behind the dunes is one of the country’s surviving landscapes; Unofficial camps emerged from the late 19th century. Now a Conservation Area, Fitties is a completely different Cleethorpes, retaining the independent spirit with which it was created.
I stayed at Little Haven (from £99pn; holidaytaycations.co.uk), a cozy whiteboard bungalow, and rose early to watch the sunrise over the Humber. There’s no ice cream truck or slot machine in sight here, just a bird sanctuary and lots of beautiful sand.
Eat this…
Fish and chips. At Steels Cornerhouse (established 1946), a sumptuous little haddock and chips served with bread, butter and a pot of tea costs just £10.95. It was also served with retro cheese: Bonnie Tyler and Shakin’ Stevens on the stereo.
So I headed off to Duffy. Duffy Sheardown was designing racing cars. It now produces award-winning, single-origin artisan chocolate on the Cleethorpes industrial estate.
Honduras is his personal favorite with 72%: “Not what you expect; “You put it in your mouth, it changes, then it changes again.” The London Chocolate Academy once called it the best bar in the world.
But don’t do this…
The toy-like Cleethorpes Coast Light Railway began running along the coast in 1948. A classic but quite inadequate. Yes, the target market is not a lonely middle-aged woman, but: I could walk faster, a cold wind blew, and the view from the path next door was better.
But the station supplies were much more fun. I popped my head into the Signal Box Inn, a converted former signal shack that claims to be the world’s smallest pub, measuring just two meters square. The older gentlemen filling the bar and the woman behind her pulling real ales were surprisingly welcoming considering the confined space.
From a local
“The North Ball needs improvement; the area is looking tired. But Cleethorpes is a great place to live. Sun (sometimes), sand and sea, countryside on your doorstep, really cheap property prices compared to other areas, friendly locals and everything you need without having to travel for miles.” everything that happens.” Julie Connell, Cleethorpes
From a tourist
“We won first place 12 years ago and have been back several times since then. Friends can be snobby – ‘oh, you’re really going to Cleethorpes?’. But that’s just the classic British beach. I went to Hawaii, Thailand, Mauritius; You can’t put Cleethorpes next to Maui. But it is still a very beautiful beach.” Paul Adler, Watford
be there
Cleethorpes has good links by train: the TransPennine Express runs direct from Manchester (in around 2.5 hours) via Sheffield and Doncaster; Historically, many visitors have come from these cities. Northern trains also run from Barton-on-Humber to Cleethorpes. See destinationlincolnshire.co.uk.