I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t have pain somewhere in my body. It’s been a constant part of my adult life. Unless someone is in constant pain, it’s hard to explain it to them. You hide everything and it’s much harder. Mornings were the worst for me because when I lay still, the throbbing, aching sensations would come out. The day it took me 45 minutes to get out of bed because of the pain I was in, I knew something had to change.
As a child I had frequent pains in my arms and legs. The doctor told me it was rheumatism and gave me calcium tablets. I was a very active child and didn’t let the pain stop me riding ponies, playing on the county sports teams and doing athletics and gymnastics. My elbows, knees and ankles would hurt when I lay down to sleep but I only continued taking paracetamol when the symptoms got worse in my teenage years.
By the age of 21 the pain had become almost unbearable and I was referred for neurological tests and blood tests – and that’s when I was diagnosed with arthritis. My GP told me very clearly that I might need a wheelchair by the time I was 30. It was a terrible shock but no advice was given beyond taking paracetamol or Ibuprofen
Luckily, I was still very fit and active and without realising it, I was protecting my joints by going to the gym regularly to strengthen my muscles. I enjoyed my 20s – in fact, I enjoyed them a lot. I had married my childhood sweetheart Mark and we had good jobs and a social life, going out five or six times a week. We loved drinking – for me it was always vodka, gin or rum and Diet Coke. I loved my job in supply in the tech and fashion industries and I never talked about my condition at work. But when my body was not moving, the pain increased. My pain had been there before I knew him, so for Mark it was part of my life.
In my late 30s, when our daughter Heidi was 10, we started riding horses, something I hadn’t done in years. And suddenly—the word—pain. Every movement sent shock waves through my back, and after six months of trying to cope, I had to stop. It was time to take my condition seriously—I couldn’t ride because of the pain. I now had spinal arthritis, and my life was changing.
I was referred to physiotherapy but it didn’t work. An osteopath told me that the bottom three of my vertebrae were irreversibly fused and I would never regain that movement, and indeed after attending yoga and pilates classes I found my body’s flexibility was gone. It was hard to accept. I knew I was getting old but there was little I could do.
I suddenly felt very old and sad. I was very athletic and within a few years I couldn’t swim because of the pain. At my lowest point, in 2021, I was setting my alarm for work even earlier because it took ages to get out of bed and move. Every morning the pain got worse.
One day at work, one of my sneakers came untied and I couldn’t bend down to tie it and had to get a colleague to help me. As an older person in a very young organization, I never wanted to draw attention to what was considered an older person’s disease. But the pain of getting myself up and into the office every day was hard to ignore.
When I heard a podcast episode about the connection between autoimmune disease, inflammation, and diet, I knew what I had to do. For three months, I followed the autoimmune protocol (AIP), an extreme diet that eliminates anything that can cause inflammation, like sugar, refined grains, and refined carbohydrates, and then gradually reintroduces foods and drinks to see what triggers pain.
The diet provided an almost immediate response. Within two weeks I went from severe pain from taking Ibuprofen every day to mild pain that I could manage without painkillers. I have lived without wheat, sugar or alcohol ever since and now focus on eating fresh, unprocessed foods – meat, fish, vegetables, pulses and dairy.
When I eat out, I know if there is a trace of hidden sugar or gluten in the food because my back will burn. If I cook meatballs, I make some pasta for Mark, but I eat more meat and vegetables myself. While it is easy to avoid sugar, it is also produced in the body by eating too much potatoes and rice, so I have had to drastically limit how much I eat. Intermittent fasting is supposed to be good for fighting inflammation, so I tried that too, and although I haven’t lost any weight, I am fitter and healthier, and most importantly, I am pain-free. Nothing can make me go back to my old habits. When I am offered a slice of cake, I just see pain.
I decided to plan for a future that would allow for more flexibility and less pressure to reduce the stress that triggers fatigue and flare-ups. So I retrained as a life coach and although I still work a lot of hours, I can now set my own agenda. And best of all, I don’t have to get up in the middle of the night to go somewhere. In the past, it was hard to make time for exercise, which is so beneficial for people with rheumatoid arthritis. Now I go for cold water swims, do strength training, and go to the gym regularly.
Mark hasn’t quit drinking but we have changed the way we socialise. I don’t go to our local bar anymore and Mark only goes for a few beers and then goes home. When our old drinking buddies question my change of behaviour he is the first to defend me because my back didn’t hurt when I drank and so they weren’t aware of my condition. Now when we go to the bar together we grab a deck of cards or play darts so I don’t get bored.
Three years later I feel like I have my health under control and have shaved 15 years off my age. Everything is easier, my head is clearer and removing pain, painkillers and alcohol from my life has allowed me to do so much more with it.
As told to Marina Gask
