“Stick out your tongue. Hmmm, it’s very red,” said Sally, my no-nonsense acupuncturist. Healthy tongues are pink, while red is a sign of too much inflammation. Also, my yin and yang were out of balance. “Because your feminine energy is low in menopause, your body may contain heat and you may feel hot flashes, You may feel moody and uncomfortable because your body is out of balance.”
A few minutes later I was covered in needles and a bunch of plants were burning on my belly, creating clouds of smoke. “HELP ME!” were they saying? It would make sense, but this was moxibustion intended to remove heat and aid detoxification.
The mysterious ways of Chinese medicine were beyond my understanding, but I couldn’t disagree with Sally’s assessment. I there was I felt moody, tired and unbalanced; or as some – my boyfriend, for starters – might say, grumpy.
Sleeping had become something I had done in past lives, and my belly was a bubbling cauldron of anxiety. I’ve tried lavender oil, weighted blankets, probiotic yogurt drinks, HRT patches. Nothing worked. But now I could finally outsource the problem, because I had come to Kamalaya, Thailand’s famous spa, for the new Radiant Bliss program for women’s health – and I had not only Sally, but also an army of world-class experts working tirelessly to solve this problem . To rebalance my yin and yang and help me get through the ups and downs of menopause.
There is no better place to feel in menopause. Kamalaya is built on a sacred hill and its grounds are filled with Buddhist and Hindu temples; There’s even a monk’s meditation cave filled with offerings, and you’re never far from the soothing sound of flowing water. Thai-style thatched-roof villas and pavilions disappear into a lush, forest-like garden filled with ferns, banana trees and giant boulders. At night it is illuminated by lanterns trailing the Spanish moss. Wherever you go, yellow-dressed staffs shine and greet you with smiles and greetings, their hands clasped together as if in prayer, “Sah-wah-dee kah.”
I had arrived at this island paradise on the quiet south side of Koh Samui, Thailand, two days ago and was instantly drawn into Kamalaya’s warm embrace with cold towels infused with essential oils and a refreshing drink of butterfly pea juice; they had already anticipated my every need, and that was before I met Tara, my personal health coach and naturopath.
Tara came to the rescue like Mary Poppins and adapted the program to suit my needs. My stated goals were to tackle my gut and hormonal issues, get a good night’s sleep, and if they could help me get back into my favorite pair of pants, so much the better.
My mood darkened for a moment when Tara gave me the results of my bioimpedance analysis, which measures body composition. I had gained six pounds in a few months, and my 0.82 waist-to-hip ratio was heading into the danger zone that could predispose me to cancer and heart disease. That’s another great thing about menopause: As estrogen drops, women tend to lose muscle and gain fat while digestion slows, which can lead to gut problems like increased gas and constipation. It’s no wonder we feel grumpy. Stress was increasing my problems.
“This may be why your body is holding on to fat right now. But it is not more “Bad,” Tara said cheerfully as she gave me my assessment. “I often write long lists of advice.” I did my best not to cry when he suggested the ideal weight program. I had heard the food at Kamalaya was heavenly and I wasn’t in the mood for a starvation diet, but like the best guardian angels, Tara was sweet but firm. He continued writing something that looked quite suspicious more It’s like a long list of recommendations that put a big cross in the daily holistic program, next to pranayama (breathing) and yoga. “You need to concentrate on these activities to lower your stress hormones.”
And so my rehabilitation began; The days started with a glass of warm water and lemon juice and the chirping of birds on my balcony. At 7:45, I was walking towards the open-air yoga pavilion between the fitness centers. This was where I learned to breathe, really breathe, overlooking the lush, forest-lined coastline below. Breathing is a serious business in Kamalaya, which has a hall dedicated to it (Prana Pavilion). I learned different ways we can use our breath to calm our minds and energize our bodies. I even took a one-on-one pranayama breathing lesson with my life consultant Praveena.
If Tara was the guardian angel of my body, Praveena was the guardian of my soul. A former monk of 23 years and a twinkling trained psychotherapist, he had an uncanny ability to get to the heart of any problem and gave me wise, easy-to-follow advice.
I went to the outdoor Wellness Reception for treatments two or three times a day; This is the engine room of the spa, the treatment rooms are lined up the slope. At first I felt like I was climbing Everest while following my therapist, but the hike was always worth it.
My program started with a foot bath and massage to help me sleep and offset jet lag, and oh my, what a dream it was. Similarly, Chi Nei Tsang (visceral massage) was a discovery that emerged as my therapist Yu unraveled the knots buried deep in my intestines. Then I suddenly felt nauseous, as if I had dislodged a few rounds of tequila that had been stuck in there since the 1980s. The elimination process was quick and dramatic, but I soon felt lighter and more open-minded. When I repeated the same treatment three days later, my bowels were noticeably less sensitive, and the hand massage that followed was probably the best hour of my life.
Tara explained that the treatments are designed to support each other. “We start by relaxing and grounding you, then we work physically, mentally and emotionally.” The program switches between Western functional medicine, which includes naturopathy, vitamin supplements, and IV infusions, and traditional medicine, which attempts to bring the five elements (water, wood, fire, earth, and metal) back into balance. So, one minute I was hooked up to a drip that supplemented my magnesium to sleep better, the next flames flickered in my belly on an ancient Thai herbal remedy to improve digestion.
Even the Ideal Weight menu was a pleasant surprise and far from the challenge I had imagined. Over breakfast at the open-air Soma restaurant overlooking treetops filled with dancing butterflies, I might order tropical fruits, detox muesli, a generous salad bar, and eggs (for extra protein). For lunch, we went for a special meal “salad” for Detox Som Tam green papaya salad and a “protein serving” of shrimp at Amrita (meaning “divine nectar” in Sanskrit) Cafe overlooking the gorgeous blue-green pool and beach. , chicken breast, squid and even ostrich. Since our bodies need more protein in middle age, Tara had encouraged me to eat these additional options at every meal whenever I could.
I met an incredible number of people throughout the week, and one of the favorite topics around the communal dinner table was the pros and cons of different wellness retreats. Some spas, I learned, encourage you to chew like a cow, even though laughing at dinner is strictly forbidden. Others will get you out of bed at dawn to walk you into the mountains. Then there are those who convince you that you need to spend thousands of dollars on aesthetic “enhancement”. I’m sure they all work for some, but Kamalaya’s gentle, gentle diet is perhaps what people respond to best. If you’re feeling battered by life and need to regroup, it’s definitely a good place to come.
It’s no surprise to learn that 40 percent of guests are repeat customers. Many times they come to lose weight but are transformed on a deeper level. I lost two and a half kilos (five pounds) in a week, but the deeper changes were definitely ongoing. My sleep had improved and even my tongue had lost its crust, a sign that my digestive system was revitalizing. Tara told me I looked pink. It’s cliché to say I felt renewed, but I did. I left the holiday feeling like I had a truly wonderful holiday and revitalized my soul in the process.
Fundamentals
The Radiant Happiness Program at Kamalaya Koh Samui (00 66 7742 9800) starts from £2,850 for eight nights. This includes all treatments and three meals a day. Accommodation is booked separately and starts from £150 per night.
British Airways, EVA Air and Thai Airways offer direct flights to Bangkok from the UK; Prices start from £661 return trip. You can fly from Bangkok to Samui International Airport with EVA Air for £100 return.
Read the full Kamalaya review